"Former Nuclear Safety Officer" says Large Hadron Collider is a Doomsday Machine, sues to stop the apocalypse

 

Proving that a little scientific knowledge is a dangerous thing and that a lawyer with a little scientific knowledge is an even more dangerous thing, safety gadflies Walter Wagner (described as a former nuclear safety officer – no word whether he ever worked in Springfield or whether he is a big fan of donuts) and Luis Sancho have filed suit in Hawaii to stop the Large Hadron Collider, a scientific facility under construction on the French-Swiss border:

The suit calls on the U.S. Department of Energy, Fermilab, the National Science Foundation and CERN to ease up on their LHC preparations for several months while the collider’s safety was reassessed.

“We’re going to need a minimum of four months to review whatever they’re putting out,” Wagner told me on Monday. The suit seeks a temporary restraining order that would put the LHC on hold, pending the release and review of an updated CERN safety assessment. It also calls on the U.S. government to do a full environmental review addressing the LHC project, including the debate over the doomsday scenario.

The LHC is hardly the first such particle collider, but don’t worry, Wagner thought previous efforts, such as the Relatavistic Heavy-Ion Collider, were apocalypses in a bottle, too.  It’s not clear why these defenders against science think a US federal court in Hawaii should have jurisdiction over CERN (the tenuous jurisdictional thread relies on the magnets for the collider, which are produced by Illinois-based Fermilab), nor why they think this particle collider will destroy all matter in the universe when the previous fifty years of such experiments have failed to do so.  Hopefully, the courts will throw them out on their ears.

Documents related to the case have been posted on the paranoid meeting space LHC Concerns, which leads one to ever more entertaining rants, such as one from “Agent 1266” comparing the LHC to a suicide bomber:

in regards to my dialogue/conversation(s) with f.b.i. and u.s. secret service offices of pensacola, fla. on jan. 18th, 2008 and my claim under the federal false claims act. I, agent 1266, of Milton, Fla.  do hereby further reiterate claim of my rights under the federal false claims acts/titles/laws/statutes/subsections and provisions in regards to the fact that Nasa and The National Science foundation has fraudulently claimed that CERN’s LHC super cooled magnets are colder than space when in fact they are NOT. I claim these rights as a documented disabled american citizen in relation to the americans with disabilities acts, titles, laws, statutes, subsections and provisions as set forth by the Department of Justice  pertainant to aforementioned rights aforded me under my constitutional “we the people” and “e pluribus unum” rights which we find under “U. S. Constitution”.  Disparage of which exists in substantial and prima facie evidence form shall also be substantiated by TCP|IP packet dumps in place/use at time of aforementioned dialogue with said f.b.i. agent, contrary notwithstanding…

NASA scientists/ websites/ research claims that LHC’s super cooled magnets are colder than space when they are in FACT NOT the coldest place in space due to the FACT that the boomerang nebula IS in FACT known to be at 1 kelvin…altho 0 kelvin is a theoretical temperature and not at all proven in FACT: It is a documented FACT that scientists can agree that 1 kelvin IS colder than 1.9 kelvin. If Large Hadron Collider super cooled magnets are claimed to be (fraudulently/criminally) colder than space at 1.9 kelvin; then how is 1.9 kelvin colder than ‘1’ kelvin?…the temp. of the boomerang nebula…

These rights and claims are regarding the FACT(s) that NASA and other u.s. agencies, including but not limited to; the national science foundation.,etc, has fraudulently claimed and/or channeled money into CERN based on the FACT that the temperature of space is in FACT not FACT but theoretical based data…Many who oppose CERN and the Large Hadron Collider argue that the machine IS going to destroy the world when it goes online this May 2008. Evidence on this page substantiates opponents arguments based on FACTS not mere ‘theory’…Physicists at RHIC in Brookhaven, New York have already potentially imposed the death sentence on us all by creating a blackhole in 2005…Are we going to sit idly by while similar experimentation/negligence is allowed to continue?